Thursday, February 16, 2012

Family

Every human being wants to belong, wants to be understood and wants to be loved. Family is a way God created for us to experience those things, however sometimes that is not the case for everyone. I wrote this poem a long time ago and i found it in my writings. God puts the lonely in families, he revives our souls, he longs for us to belong in his family and to fill his love. May you experience the sense of belonging and family as you read this. Even as you reflect on the difficulties of family, may God heal and show you the beauty of it. We are all made for community, no man is an island, we are made for love. 

On family, on home, on the place where you feel like you belong. Behind closed doors, the place where you undress. The place where secrets are made and kept, the place where dreams are breathed into life, or deflated like a an air balloon. Home. Family. Love. Pain. Confusion. Character formation. Support, neglect, u forgiveness, patience, acceptance, anger and loss. Doors close behind you as you enter this world called home. No one out there even knows it. Everything is perfect on the outside. But deep inside you guys fight, holding on to what is right. Some eat together, some pray at night. While others watch mom and dad destroy one another, sister break brother and grandpa disillusion granddaughter by stripping all the innocence she has ever known. Quit and still on the outside. Doors open and truth comes out on the inside.

This very unit created to grow us, sometimes destroys us. Generational curses passed down, maladaptive patterns and manipulation as ways of communication. Only the God of restoration, can take such brokenness and emptiness. He takes a place of brokenness and makes it a place of overflowing goodness. From childhood tragedy, marital conflict, sibling rivalry. He takes it and makes it lovely. After all we are all in one big family, adopted by grace as sons and daughters of righteousness, made in his likeness, redeemed from the fall. Renewed made whole. Family

lean in

Sorry I have not written in a long time, I am in the mist of a transition within a transition. Many beautiful things are happening in my life and I am learning how to manage life. If it can really be managed. It is full of surprises and unexpected things, however I have learned to lean in. Yes, lean in, learn how to hear the small quite voice. 

If a person is unable to hear the direction of the father, they will find themselves walking in circles. As I prepare for marriage, i have had to lean in even closer because now every decision i make is for two. In times past i could just flow, but now i must flow along with my future husband, it really is a joy becoming one. Little by little, bank accounts, friends, finding a home and eventually becoming one. Leaning in, allows you to be able to slow down and speed up not based on your plans but the plans of the lord.  I learned a long time you must learn how to lean and then be flexible so you do not break. God has so much for each of us, and we must learn not to live based on others expectations, but on the expectations he has for you and the ones he has called to walk beside you. Learn to compromise, learn to wait, learn to lean in, it makes life so easier. I am back though, so enjoy the blogs!